Reconciliation

Estrangement is such a painful, terrible thing; but reconciliation brings joy. The reconciliation of which I speak is not merely a matter of coming together again, or burying the hatchet. It's a multifaceted, complicated process with layers. When the estrangement is substantial, reconciliation is a process that takes time. It can only be properly understood when viewed holistically. Any other view gives just a glimpse of what reconciliation truly is.

To reconcile with someone is to agree in a way that is remarkable. The agreement is essentially to truly let bygones be bygones. It is forgiveness of past offenses and the willingness to walk forward, together, in love.

True reconciliation is genuine. It doesn't minimize the offense(s) that led to estrangement. Instead, it acknowledges the depth and breadth of the pain, while simultaneously refusing to let that pain be the dispositive factor as far as future dealings. Reconciliation is coming together, agreeing to deal with one another in a new, mutually edifying way.

If you are estranged from a loved one, I hope that you are able to do the hard work that is so often necessary to bridge the gap. I hope that you can come together again, and take comfort in each other's company. That's truly a wonderful thing.

Prayer and Fasting

A good friend recently challenged me to fast while I pray. She told me that the two go hand in hand; essentially, you can't have one without the other. While I can't say that this is a new concept to me, I will say that I had never before realized the importance of fasting. I understood intellectually, but not personally or really.

Several difficult situations have arisen over the past year. This has made me feel a sense of urgency in terms of praying to God for resolutions. My prayers, when I have the strength or the wherewithal to say them, tend to hit the ceiling. At least, that's how I often feel. I know that certain important prayers have been answered. But this is atypical for me; I struggle to even pray at all. My prayers come far more easily than they did five or six years ago, which shows how closely I flirted with agnosticism at that time.

What would happen if fasting accompanied my prayers? I will find out soon. It's time for my prayers to go beyond the ceiling.

Forgiveness

For the last few months, I've been on a journey of self-discovery and growth. It has been difficult because it involves separation from loved ones, a prolonged process of forgiving, and developing new thinking habits. It is truly one of the most difficult undertakings of my life, if not THE most difficult. I would not have chosen this path, but circumstances required it.

An essential component of my journey is learning to let go of anger, grudges, and past hurts. For many years I didn't understand that I had the habit of holding grudges. I had no idea that I was an unforgiving, angry person. Usually, the anger was kept deep down inside. Few people knew about it because I tend to be outgoing and charismatic. I make friends easily.

But the truth of the matter is that I developed the habit of holding on to offenses many, many years ago. I remember holding grudges when I was in elementary school. This habit has harmed many of my closest and most important relationships, and late last year, I decided to embrace a new way of living. This is no easy task. As I said earlier, it has been one of the most difficult undertakings of my life.

For me, forgiveness is paramount. It is absolutely essential. I am growing, little by little, to understand that I need to let go of offenses (both real and perceived) in order to live a fulfilling life. So I continue on this journey with hopeful expectation.