A Conversation

Tonight I spoke with a dear friend for about an hour. We talked about writing, today's publishing industry, how life has been for us during the past year, and several other things. But the portion of our conversation that struck me most dealt with prayer. My friend encouraged me to pray consistently to discover my purpose. I'm not much of a pray-er these days. I still do pray, but I find it difficult for a number of reasons (more on that another time). I found her thoughts on prayer encouraging and refreshing in ways that I usually don't when people discuss prayer.

I think tonight's conversation was different because my friend linked prayer with imagination. She reminded me of the things we wrote as children, and how we imagined what our futures would be like. And she offered this admonition: "Pray and imagine." I'm still trying to wrap my head around the meaning of that phrase, but I understand it enough to believe that it's a timely message for me.

My Purpose

Earlier this evening I listened to a podcast by an author/consultant that I know personally. She spoke at length about knowing one's value, and learning what one is called to do with the short time we have on earth. She and I have touched on that topic in the recent past, and I find it compelling. When I ponder my purpose, and wonder about the trajectory of my life, I come up with more questions than answers. I suppose that's fine, but I think those questions (and answers) should be clustered about a common theme. In other words, I'm confident that I should have some idea where my life is headed and where I want it to go, even if I don't know all the particulars.

Right now I'm not particularly happy with my professional life. I don't find the practice of law as fulfilling as I hoped it would be. Maybe this is just a rough patch, a temporary season of malaise or the onset of midlife angst. I really don't know. But I'll be 38 in March, and I truly hope to experience joy and satisfaction on a more consistent basis as I approach the age of 40. I'm guessing that upon knowing my value, and knowing my purpose in this world, satisfaction will come. But I often feel like time is running out.  Oh my God, life is short and moves along so quickly.

I've become a father since my last post. A little boy who everybody says looks like me. But when I look at him I see my wife's features in miniature. He's a beautiful, sweet child, and although he's close to 18 months old, it seems like he was born just a little while ago.  I've enjoyed fatherhood immensely and know that I'll continue to do so however quickly the time passes.