Perception / Reality
Remember that saying "Perception is reality"? It seems so very true to me. But what happens when our perceptions change? Has reality changed? I'm not sure that reality is necessarily constant or static, but I do hope that there are some aspects of reality that never change.
I've been thinking a lot about my own religious beliefs for the past few years. When I write "thinking a lot", I mean assessing. For reasons that are difficult to explain just now, I've been thinking about a lot of issues that I never thought about during my years as a fundamentalist, evangelical Protestant. These "new" issues color my worldview, shake up personal theories, and sometimes cause a considerable amount of frustration.
I have dozens of questions which cannot be answered to my satisfaction. "Where is the Church, the very Body of Christ?" "How can two people allegedly know the Truth with absolute certainty, and embrace theologies that are diametrically opposed to each other?" "Why is healthy intimacy so elusive?" "Why do some people have such awful, awful lives when they've done all they can to have good (or simply decent) lives?"
Some people have answers to these questions. I used to be one of those people. My answers often began with "The Bible says ..." or "As a Christian, I believe ...." Today I'm MUCH more likely to say "I don't know. I really don't know." I still believe in Jesus, but I have less to say about Him. What words could express my connection to Him? If I quoted a Bible verse to describe it, which version would I use?
I had a religious experience at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City last year. And I had another at the beginning of this year in Lansing, Michigan. I didn't see anything extraordinary during either experience, but each time, I felt convinced that God was near. It is very difficult for me to write about these experiences because, as I wrote above, I saw nothing extraordinary. I only felt something extraordinary, and as I struggle to find the words to describe those experiences, I doubt that you would "get it." Maybe if we spoke in person, but not by reading a blog post.
I believe that both experiences are connected to my previous experiences: attending a church with a very strict Protestant, dispensational worldview; being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, and losing health insurance shortly thereafter; finding myself at a Catholic university, surrounded by very smart, very devout Catholics; wrestling with a bar examination ... the list goes on and on.
My faith is shaped (at least in part) by my perception of reality. I suspect my perception is shaped by a host of things, one of them being my experiences. I'm guessing it's the same way for you. I believe this phenomenon shows how two people who call Jesus "Lord" with love and sincerity can have vastly different understandings of what it means to live as a Christian.
I used to be very concerned with prohibitions: don't look to works for salvation, don't fornicate, don't use profanity, don't drink alcohol (one drop leads to drunkeness!), don't watch R-rated movies, don't engage in worldy activities (i.e. things that are really fun), don't smoke, don't ask a woman out unless you have "serious" intentions, don't dance, don't vote for ungodly politicians (i.e. pro-choice), don't ask non-Christians for advice ....
I was defining my faith, my very self, my reality, by things that I did not do. That's a really shitty way to live. It got really old, really fast, and by the time I was twenty-six, I felt like I was fifty-two. Well, I felt the way I imagined a rather unhappy, fifty-two year old man would feel.
Today I try to put my faith into practice with a "to do" list: be kind to people, pray with sincerity, tell the truth (and remember to be tactful!), defend those who can't defend themselves, listen intently to what others have to say, eat more vegetables, allow people the chance to get close enough to really know you (even when it's easier to remain aloof), give hugs to people you love, cook for people you love, drink beer (in moderation) with people you love ....
My choices and my characterizations of choices shape my reality, my perceptions. My more recent approach to living as a Christian is easier, and more fulfilling. It works for me, and I feel ... right. I am thirty-one years old, and I feel not a year older.
I've been thinking a lot about my own religious beliefs for the past few years. When I write "thinking a lot", I mean assessing. For reasons that are difficult to explain just now, I've been thinking about a lot of issues that I never thought about during my years as a fundamentalist, evangelical Protestant. These "new" issues color my worldview, shake up personal theories, and sometimes cause a considerable amount of frustration.
I have dozens of questions which cannot be answered to my satisfaction. "Where is the Church, the very Body of Christ?" "How can two people allegedly know the Truth with absolute certainty, and embrace theologies that are diametrically opposed to each other?" "Why is healthy intimacy so elusive?" "Why do some people have such awful, awful lives when they've done all they can to have good (or simply decent) lives?"
Some people have answers to these questions. I used to be one of those people. My answers often began with "The Bible says ..." or "As a Christian, I believe ...." Today I'm MUCH more likely to say "I don't know. I really don't know." I still believe in Jesus, but I have less to say about Him. What words could express my connection to Him? If I quoted a Bible verse to describe it, which version would I use?
I had a religious experience at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City last year. And I had another at the beginning of this year in Lansing, Michigan. I didn't see anything extraordinary during either experience, but each time, I felt convinced that God was near. It is very difficult for me to write about these experiences because, as I wrote above, I saw nothing extraordinary. I only felt something extraordinary, and as I struggle to find the words to describe those experiences, I doubt that you would "get it." Maybe if we spoke in person, but not by reading a blog post.
I believe that both experiences are connected to my previous experiences: attending a church with a very strict Protestant, dispensational worldview; being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, and losing health insurance shortly thereafter; finding myself at a Catholic university, surrounded by very smart, very devout Catholics; wrestling with a bar examination ... the list goes on and on.
My faith is shaped (at least in part) by my perception of reality. I suspect my perception is shaped by a host of things, one of them being my experiences. I'm guessing it's the same way for you. I believe this phenomenon shows how two people who call Jesus "Lord" with love and sincerity can have vastly different understandings of what it means to live as a Christian.
I used to be very concerned with prohibitions: don't look to works for salvation, don't fornicate, don't use profanity, don't drink alcohol (one drop leads to drunkeness!), don't watch R-rated movies, don't engage in worldy activities (i.e. things that are really fun), don't smoke, don't ask a woman out unless you have "serious" intentions, don't dance, don't vote for ungodly politicians (i.e. pro-choice), don't ask non-Christians for advice ....
I was defining my faith, my very self, my reality, by things that I did not do. That's a really shitty way to live. It got really old, really fast, and by the time I was twenty-six, I felt like I was fifty-two. Well, I felt the way I imagined a rather unhappy, fifty-two year old man would feel.
Today I try to put my faith into practice with a "to do" list: be kind to people, pray with sincerity, tell the truth (and remember to be tactful!), defend those who can't defend themselves, listen intently to what others have to say, eat more vegetables, allow people the chance to get close enough to really know you (even when it's easier to remain aloof), give hugs to people you love, cook for people you love, drink beer (in moderation) with people you love ....
My choices and my characterizations of choices shape my reality, my perceptions. My more recent approach to living as a Christian is easier, and more fulfilling. It works for me, and I feel ... right. I am thirty-one years old, and I feel not a year older.
posted by Wordsmyth at
8:23 PM
3 Comments:
I grew up feeling 32, and, by the time I reached that age, I started to feel like I was (slowly) getting younger inside all the time.
I live a freer, happier life, but the past nags in the back of my mind saying "Yeah, but it can't be this easy. There has to be arduousness in there somehow"
Trying to feel like I am living as a Christian, despite not doing the stuff most people do, and doing stuff many Christians don't, or else not feeling guilty about doing stuff they do, then feel guilty about. Guilt is "paying" for the "sin," according to many, and guilt is such a hard habit to break. Guilt very often keeps us from God.
The way I figured it out a few years back was that it was time for me to stop trying to live 'right' (correctly) and start actually living well (excellently).
The fact that people everywhere were unthinkingly turning all of the "well's" and "good's" in the bible into "right's," and also all of the "evil's" and "bad's" into "wrong's" tipped me off that the basic philosophy was being tinkered with, or had wandered far from where it was, that people needed to make slight changes in the wording of the bible to make it fit their inner landscape.
Living well didn't seem to be a responsibility or priviledge anyone wanted. So long as they were right and everyone admitted it, that was good enough for them.
i like that "eat more vegetables" is part of your faith now. kind of funny.
this whole thing reminds me of effective eating. diets are all about what not to eat, and tend to end with a person feeling deprived and frustrated. i've found it more helpful to focus on choosing good foods. understanding the true nature of food and what quality eating consists of helps.
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