Thursday, March 16, 2006

Fatigue

For the first time, I deleted one of my posts for this blog. It was a draft actually; it never actually became an official post. But I'm a little traumatized nonetheless. I tend to keep things I write, no matter how stupid they seem. I tend to believe most pieces can be redeemed in some form or fashion at some point. But today, I'm tired. Physically and mentally.

I've been subbing at a Christian school this week. Not every day (I can hardly imagine doing it that frequently). I realize that I no longer have the patience for children that I once had. I feel like I've sort of lost my knack for teaching. Most specifically, my knack for classroom management. I can still do it, but I'm just so exhausted afterward.

We all know the routine: subs usually get dissed. Good kids aren't going to do anything really bad, but I mean, come on! What was your mindset when you walked into a classroom, and saw that your teacher was absent? What's the first thing that crossed your mind when you saw the unfamiliar name written on the chalkboard, and saw the unfamiliar adult sitting at the desk normally reserved for your teacher?

As a student, my first thought was "Hell yeah. It's time to par-tay!" And if we were lucky enough to have a sub on Friday? Sheeeeit. That was a three day weekend.

Unless ... you were unlucky enough to have one of those crazy subs who: a) actually wanted to be a real teacher, or b) used to be full-time teachers, but retired or something. Those types were always difficult to handle. Sometimes they were worse than the actual teacher.

Is that what I've become? No, no. That can't be right. I'm too cool for that. I'm fun. The kids like me. I'm just structured, and really want them to learn instead of wasting time. I think. I hope.

Whatever I've become, I spent today saying things like:

"Someone's still talking ... I'm waiting. *pause* I'm still waiting. *pause* I can't give directions until everyone's listening."

"Everyone should be in his/her seat."

"David is ready, Caitlin is ready, Anthony is ready, I'm ready ... but some people are touching their neighbors, or out of their seats, or writing notes. So we'll just have to wait."

"Put your heads down. It's too noisy. I guess I won't be able to read you a story after all."

I've said things like this over and over and over today; I'm so tired I could scream. Or just go to sleep, and it's not even 7 pm yet.

2 Comments:

Blogger Wikkid Person said...

I got sick of saying stuff like that, so (at the elementary level or high school, it matters not) started saying things like:

"Ok, let's all look at the people who don't know when it's time to close their mouths."

And no I have bought a gavel. I give it to the most disruptive kid I can think of at the beginning of class. He or she is responsible to give it three hard raps whenever I point (which means they have to pay a lot of attention to me, or else other kids will see me pointing and shout at them to bang it) and it anyone keeps talking after it is banged, a detention is given without discussion.

To make them listen to P.A. announcements or directions, anyone who talks will stand silently until the announcements or directions are done.

Stuff like that.

11:05 AM  
Blogger Wordsmyth said...

looking at all the people who don't know when it's time to close their mouths is an excellent strategy.

that's PROOF that I've lost my touch. I tried that a few times back in the day, and it worked like a charm.

2:42 AM  

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